Lines Indited with all the Depravity of Poverty

One way to be very happy is to be very rich 
For then you can buy orchids by the quire and bacon by the flitch. 
And yet at the same time People don’t mind if you only tip them a dime, 
Because it’s very funny 
But somehow if you’re rich enough you can get away with spending water like money 
While if you’re not rich you can spend in one evening your salary for the year 
And everybody will just stand around and jeer. 
If you are rich you don’t have to think twice about buying a judge or a horse, 
Or a lower instead of an upper, or a new suit, or a divorce, 
And you never have to say When, 
And you can sleep every morning until nine or ten, 
All of which 
Explains why I should like very, very much to be very, very rich.