No Doctor's Today, Thank You

They tell me that euphoria is the feeling of feeling wonderful, well, today I feel euphorian, 
Today I have the agility of a Greek god and the appetite of a Victorian. 
Yes, today I may even go forth without my galoshes, 
Today I am a swashbuckler, would anybody like me to buckle any swashes? 
This is my euphorian day, 
I will ring welkins and before anybody answers I will run away. 
I will tame me a caribou 
And bedeck it with marabou. 
I will pen me my memoirs. 
Ah youth, youth! What euphorian days them was! 
I wasn't much of a hand for the boudoirs, 
I was generally to be found where the food was. 
Does anybody want any flotsam? 
I've gotsam. 
Does anybody want any jetsam? 
I can getsam. 
I can play chopsticks on the Wurlitzer, 
I can speak Portuguese like a Berlitzer. 
I can don or doff my shoes without tying or untying the laces because I am wearing moccasins, 
And I practically know the difference between serums and antitoccasins. 
Kind people, don't think me purse-proud, don't set me down as vainglorious, 
I'm just a little euphorious.